How Do I Clean THAT up???

I was trying to think of my crowning moment for mother of the year.  I had to really think hard because there are so many moments.  I opted for the moment that proved that the book What to Expect: The Toddler Years could never contain enough information to adequately prepare a mother.  I may have to pen my own self-help bible called Holy Crap! Are You Kidding Me?.  Let me start with a disclaimer.  This post in NO way contains poop. It may begin to sound as if it does, but stay with me.  THERE IS NO POOP!  Trust me ;)

It's like this, I have these 3 daughters.

Oh, you need more?

Well, one fine fall afternoon my eldest offspring decided to go play in her room.  She was 3 and this did not seem odd.  The baby, 1 year old at the time, needed a nap and had boycotted her own crib, so it was off to Mom and Dad's bed for her.  I laid down with her, stroked her sweet, baby soft cheeks and hummed beautiful lullabies straight into her delicious little ears.  Well, I sing a GREAT lullaby, because soon I had dozed off.
Fast-forward 20 minutes later and I wake up PANICKED!  Holy crap!  I left a 3 year old alone for 20 minutes.  Bolt up, run down the stairs round the corner to her room and...
What is that?  Why is she buck-ass naked?  Why is there brown runny stuff going down her leg?  And why, is she holding a cup under herself?  She IS potty trained.

Here's where you must trust me.  Remember?

"Child #1, what are you doing?" (In a sing-song/scared/anticipating the worst kind of voice)
"Nothin'"
"Really? Cause it looks like somethin'" (Still in sing song mode)
"Oh, Mama, I peein' in dis cup." (Matter of fact)
Quick flash through my mind of a doctor's appointment the day before.  She had to pee in a cup.
"Why is there brown stuff on the back of your legs?"
"I was doin' a speriment." (experiment)
Another quick flash.  Dang you public television and the ideas you give my kids! All I could THINK of was poop.
"So, what is this experiment, honey?"
"I put da chocowat sywup in da cup.  I goed pee in da cup and..."
SHRIEK, from me of course!
Grab child #1, step in pee puddle, put child in the shower, as I go into a tirade.
I kept singing to myself, "Thank GOD it's not poop, Thank GOD it's not poop."

Now, I know that it does not do any good to have a long conversation with a 3 year old about how cups are not for peeing in and the doctor's office is the only place you should do that.  But I had just woken up from a little tease of a nap, I was groggy and I was anticipating the pee puddle clean up.
I looked at my sweet little child who was now crying as she was standing in the shower looking all wet and bedraggled.  I actually said to her, "You weren't going to drink it, were you?"
"Ewww, no Mommy!"
"Good because I was going to have you look through the newspaper for a new place to live.  Maybe a nice 2 bedroom townhouse."
"What Momma?"
"You know, I cannot have you living here if you are going to pee in all our cups and use up all the chocolate syrup with your foolishness."
"What Momma?"
"We all really enjoy our chocolate milk in the morning, so what do we do if you have used it all up with your pee-pee experiments?"
"Momma, I so sowwy."

After it was all taken care of, I thought back to the conversation I had with child#1 while she was in the shower.  I flipped through my copy of What to Expect: The Toddler Years.
Damned if there was NOT a chapter about peeing in cups filled with chocolate syrup.
Welcome to motherhood.